The story of my orchid lovechild

In March, I landed a new job and upon departing my old position, my work husband gifted me a beautiful orchid. This is the story of our lovechild.

Here’s me & the #WorkHubs (Markessce) at the South Carolina Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy‘s 20th anniversary gala last week.


We were the [self-proclaimed] “Vintage Couple of the Night” – he wore his grandfather’s jacket and I wore a dress from Butterfly Vintage with a resliced clutch of course! It’s possible we were slightly under-dressed, but neither of us gave a flip because we were REUNITED!

Anyhow, back to my story: so I broke the news that I’d be leaving my job to him gently and we began to plan for our fork in the road. On my last day, I was packing up my office and asked him to help me wheel out the office chair I’d filled with the last 3 years of my professional life to my car. He raced down to my office carrying a beautiful orchid. We’re both incredibly horrible plant caregivers so I don’t know what he was thinking. Obviously he was struck by her beauty leading him to an impulse buy.

We named our lovechild Dutchess Jamie Lynn (“The Dutchess” for short) on the spot.

The Dutchess during the first week at my new job.

On my first day of work, I proudly placed our child in my window (maybe that was the first mistake since the card you see to her left contained instructions that say “do not place in direct sunlight”).

Two months into my new job and I’ve watched every bloom shrivel up with dead petals on the floor for me to pick up each morning. I knew orchids were finicky and this one was destined for doom as soon as it landed in my arms. Poor Dutchess. She never had a fighting chance.

I sent Markessce a desperate text last week letting him know I’m pretty sure I’ve killed our love child and to prepare for our loss.

Emaciated Dutchess.

Without hesitation, he texts back: “You’ve fully bloomed into your new life.”

Welp. My eyes filled with tears. I sure do miss that boy being down the hall! He always knows just what to say when I’m feeling down.

Aside from “never gift Jordan something that requires care”, the moral of my story is that I’m so lucky to be surrounded with friends and mentors who have helped me along my professional path and never left me emaciated and begging for water like The Dutchess.

Cheers to all of you! I owe you an orchid or two. 😉

Author: Jordan Slice-Metcalfe

My name is Jordan. I'm a full-time working mom whose coffee cup is always half full (and probably still in the microwave). I've got a weak spot for rescuing old dogs, pretending pizza is a vegetable, negotiating dessert with every meal, propagating more plants than any home needs, dreaming of sewing projects while my husband is talking to me, and loving my tribe too deep.

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